Heck Hath No Fury
by NuregOfTheElves
Summary: My first fanfic. When Vampires start summoning demons to wreak havoc upon the Earth, what is the Hellsing agency to do? Summon their own demons of course! But what they get is not what they expect! Please R
1. chapter 1: Heck Hath no Fury

Heck Hath No Fury (Like Vampires)

Welcome...To my "Hellsing" Fanfic. This is the first Fanfic I have ever written, so please, go easy on the flames, but not too easy! I need to know how good or bad this Fanfic will be.

Disclaimer: I don't own "Hellsing", nor do I own any elements of other media that may appear in this Fanfic, accidentally or otherwise. If my writing happens to be exactly like someone else's, it is only a coincidence, and I am not trying to plagiarize anyone.

Author note: The story was going to be called: Hell Hath No Fury, but due to censoring and such, I wasn't sure if "Hell" was acceptable in the title of my story

Now...On to the Fanfiction!!!!!

Chapter 1: fight fire with fire

London Slums, 12:10 AM. A lone figure stands at the entrance of a condemned warehouse. Two more figures approach him. "Is everything ready?" "Yeah, the ritual's all set up inside." "Good, let's go. Don't want to keep Hell's armies waiting."

Hours later, Integra Hellsing is sitting in her office, reading the morning reports, and she doesn't like what she is seeing. All of them are basically the same. Sightings of giant red winged humanoids, flaming dogs fire for eyes, walking skeletons with scorpion-like tails. Demons. They were always traveling with what appeared to be humans. For the last week, people had been sighting these and other things every night all over England. Some lone demons were even sighted in broad daylight. Kidnapping and murder rates had soared, and all the Royal Order of Protestant Knights, A.K.A., the Hellsing Agency, could do was send out every one of their agents to observe these abominations. Integra had already determined these things were way beyond the Agency's power to handle. Not only that, but they were spreading. A scattered few had sighted Demons over the English channel and in Ireland and Scotland. Something had to be done. As Integra continued to ponder just how, or IF these demons could be defeated, and who was bringing them to Earth, she realized that, based on these reports, the demons were being summoned most likely by vampires. It was obvious why. To kill and kidnap humans to feed the vampires, and to guard the vampires from Hellsing.

That night, Integra finally thought of a solution, strange and farfetched as it may have been. Her plan was to fight the demons the same way the agency fought vampires. With other vampires, namely Alucard and Seras Victoria. Why not summon demons to fight other demons? The vampires appear to be controlling the demons they travel with. The only hitch is the fact that demon summoning is a blasphemous act in the eyes of the protestant church. But what's a little blasphemy in the name of saving the world?


	2. Chapter 2: A blasphemy and a Hard Place

Heck Hath No Fury: Chapter 2

A Blasphemy and a Hard Place

Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing. If I'm plagiarizing anyone, it's an honest mistake. I do not own Dungeons & Dragons, or the monsters called demons or devils in the monster manual, whose likenesses I used in the previous chapter, and will continue to use.

Authors note: Please do not hate me, Satan Worshippers, for misrepresenting demons in my fanfic. Using a judeo/xian viewpoint for this story facilitates my needs as an author to insert an X-factor into the Hellsing story, thus creating what you are about to read.

"spoken" thought

12:03 AM, Hellsing HQ: In a radical stretch of the imagination, Integra Hellsing, director of the Hellsing Agency, came up with the idea to fight the demons that had recently appeared on Earth with other demons. It was only days later that, through intense research and scouring the small specialty stores of London, the agency was ready to try to summon a demon. Using instructions detailed in the necronomicon, Integra, Alucard, and Seras Victoria began the ritual. After preparing the nine foot circle, the barrier wards and the written invocations, they began the chanting and lighting of various flamy things, such as candles, incense, and various papers.

1:03 AM, Hellsing HQ: The three of them had followed all of the procedures, listened to and performed every instruction to the letter, and didn't make even a blink out of sequence. Finally, success...sort of. After an hour of work, just as the ritual reached its end, a huge pillar of flame, giving off no heat, shot up from the 9 foot circle. Eventually, the flame dissipated, and what was left startled them all. The "demon" they had summoned, appeared to be human.

7th Circle: "What in the nine...Gaaaaaaaaah!" were the final words Desmodeus Lucidari would impart upon the world of Hell. He had been swallowed up in a swirling vortex of fire and lightning, and it felt like his body was literally being ripped apart and then reassembled by an exceptionally stupid Ogre from the Earth world, which is incidentally where he was headed. Eventually he finally hit solid ground, and first smelled candles and incense burning. Bloody summoning, When Desmodeus opened his eyes, not that he needed to, the sight he saw was truly unique. With his exceptional dragon senses, he immediately detected 2 vampires and a human in the room with him. A human? Must be a sacrifice. How nice of these vampires. I'll have to kill them quickly once I'm free. Feeding time!

Hellsing HQ: The "demon" the three of them had summoned didn't look demonic at all. It looked like a naked male human. As soon as it had fully materialized, it took a rather peculiar stance, as if it thought it was a cat or something. It just stood there for a moment, and then it pounced. With speed and strength no average human could possess, it leaped at Integra. Instead of smothering her, however, it came within a quarter inch of Integra, and was then held, and dragged back to the center of the 9 foot circle by chains that seemed to come out of nowhere. It then turned on the vampires, and lunged violently, each time to the same effect as the first attack. "What is the meaning of this! How dare you hold me with the 9 foot circle! Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" It screamed. Integra had just begun to burn the evocation, forcing the demon to bend to her and the vampires' wills. Desmodeus turned back to Integra, and as soon as he noticed this fact, he became aware of the acute fact that the human was working with the vampires. "You bloody human, I'll rip you to pieces, y-Aaaaaaaarrrrrrgh!" The "demon" yelled once again. "Look here demon, I am Integra Hellsing, and you wi" Integra began, but the demon interupted, "HELLSING!?!?!?!? Hellsing of the clan Hellsing, Leading family of the royal order of protestant knights!? I'll kill you! I'll kill you, you dirty Hellsing!" And the demon began it's attack anew, disregarding the pain inflicted by the ritual preparations to lunge repeatedly at Integra. "Demon! You will obey me and my subordinates until dismissed back into the fiery voids, I compel you!!" This finally paralyzed Desmodeus, forcing him to listen. "You work for me now demon, and under my control you will do exactly what I tell you, understand!?" "yes...but I do this begrudgingly, and I can assure you, lowly human, that if I ever see you whilst not under this damndable spell, I swear you will wish that your entire bloodline had never existed!" "You call me human like you aren't one yourself, and I command you to start calling me Lady Integra. The tall red vampire is Alucard, and the one in the blue uniform is Seras Victoria." "What are you talking about, I'm Desmodeus a Hellfire Wyrm, a dragon de-" it is at this point that Desmodeus notices he has hands "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! My body! What have you done to me!? I am not for this lowly human form! What happened to my dragon form!" "Alucard!" said Integra, "yes, lady Integra?" replied Alucard. "Get...Desmodeus here some clothes." "Yes, my lady,"

End of Chapter 2

So, how was it? Does my story so far suck, or does it suck really bad? Please review and let me know what I can improve.


	3. Chapter3: I forgot the name of this chap...

Heck Hath no fury (like Vampires)

Chapter 3: Getting to know the monster

Disclaimer: I don't own Hellsing or anything I might infringe upon on accident. If I plagiarize anyone, it is a complete accident and a coincidence.

Hellsing H.Q., 2:50 AM: After much struggle, and a few shouting matches, Alucard Finally got Desmodeus to cover himself, and Integra and Seras Victoria eventually taught him to stand up and walk around in his new human form. Finally, once the demon looked somewhat civilized, they were able to force him to reveal exactly who and what he was. "So, who were you...in hell?" "Why should I tell you, human?" "Because I asked. And because you work for me now." "hmm...fine. My name is Desmodeus. I am the second general of the Seventh Circle of hell. I'm sure you've read Dante's Inferno. It is actually quite accurate. Before you so rudely ripped me out of my world, I was a powerful Hellfire Wyrm...a dragon born from the lust of a particularly evil red dragon father and a demon mother. I was born in hell, and I have lived there for 1,300 years. I rose, or "fell" if you will, in the ranks, down to the second in command of hell's seventh circle. I held that position for 250 years until just recently. As far as my human form, I probably acquired it when you and your bumbling vampires brought me to this wretched planet!" "fair enough. Now, what can you do?" "I have no damn idea! If I were still a dragon, I might be able to show you, but in my present state, I really can't tell!" "Fine, we'll have to test that out right now. Alucard!" "Yes, lady Integra?" "Take Desmodeus to the training ground. Let's find out just what he's capable of." "Yes, Lady Integra." Come along Desmodeus."

Alucard led Desmodeus to the training area, occasionally stopping to get him to start walking, and not crawl. There, Seras Victoria was doing target practice with her sniper rifle. "Police Girl!" "Yes, master?" "The demon here doesn't know what he's capable of in this human form he has been given, help me find out." After saying this, Alucard drew his handgun and shot Desmodeus in the shoulder. Expecting a scream of pain followed by a slump with a pool of blood spewing onto the floor, Alucard was surprised to find nothing more than a hole in Desmodeus's shirt. "What was that supposed to be? You think a mere bullet can have ANY effect on a dragon's hide?!" "I see. You seem to remain with your former might, however it has been packed into this human form." "If that's the case, then I should be able to do this!" and without missing a beat, Desmodeus drove his foot into the floor, and reduced the cement making up the floor around him for 10 feet to rubble. "Amazing!" gasped Seras Victoria. With incredible speed, Desmodeus ran to the wall at the other end of the range and blew it away with his fist. "Excellent...with this power, I can at least wreak some havoc." "Now, Mr. Desmodeus, tell me, do you think you still retain that cliché dragon capability?" Without even answering, Desmodeus attempted to blow a huge blast of hellfire. In his first attempt, all he blew was a few candle flames and a lot of smoke. After another 2 tries, with slightly more success each time, he was finally able to blow a huge line of flames down the range...effectively setting the building on fire and setting off the fire sprinklers.

Unfortunately, the flames that Desmodeus blows are unholy and cannot be put out by mere water. The building burned for several moments before Desmodeus was able to just manage to cast a spell with his innate draconic sorcerer abilities to quell the flames. "Perhaps this demon we summoned is...too strong. He possesses unbelievable speed and strength...he can breath fire, and he's a sorcerer." Alucard thought to himself. It was then that this "unbelievably powerful" demon in human skin collapsed.


	4. Chapter 4: Strengths and weaknesses

Heck Hath No Fury (Like Vampires)

Chapter 4: Strengths and Weaknesses

Disclaimer: I don't own Hellsing, only Desmodeus. Any plagiarism is accidental.

"Spoken" 'thought'

Desmodeus woke up in a room of all white, save for the red leather clad vampire reading a magazine beside him. The bed was white, the ceiling, floor, walls and furniture were white too. It was blindingly shiny inside the room. "Where the hell am I?" "You're in HQ's infirmary. You blacked out after you put out the fire." "That's impossible, the spell I cast was barely above a cantrip." 'That couldn't have drained me; I'm a dra-damn. I'm in a human body still.' "Well, apparently, that spell put your lights out. Of course, I suppose the kick, the punch, and the flame breath may have contributed. By the time you cast that spell, I would guess you were running on pure adrenaline." That's when Desmodeus learned his exact limits. As he tried to get up, he heard, and felt, a sickening crunch in his arm. "Gaaaaaaaaah!! My arm! My Bloody Arm!" "You must have broken it with that punch. I would advise you don't move your leg, it's probably also broken." "Damn this human body you stuck me in! How am I supposed to do anything if I break my bones every time I apply any of my strength!! Damn! Damn! Damn!" Integra and Police Girl walked in a moment later. "How are you feeling?" "My bloody arm and leg are broken and my whole body aches, how the hell do you think I feel!" "Police Girl, put more pain killers in his IV." "Yes, master Aluca-""I don't want any of your damn human medicines! Get this tube out of my arm! Take these sticky cups offa...me...whoa...are you digging this air? This is some good air, man. It's so...like, breathable and stuff y'know." "I think that's enough Police Girl." A week later...

"What's going on? Who is this!? Get him away from me!" "Desmodeus, calm down...he's just the doctor, he needs to check your wounds." "Fine, but only if I get more Morphine!" "Later, Desmodeus, after the check up, now please, let the doctor check your wounds." "Alright, now does this hurt?" "No." "Mm hmm, and what about this?" "No." "Okay, and does this hurt?" "No." "How about this?" "YES! Yes! Ouch! Yes!" "Really?" "No." "Thought so." The doctor then proceeded with a few more tests, and several minutes later. "Well, sir, based on these tests, your bones have fully knitted together, and you have a generally clean bill of health." "I see. Thank you doctor...do I get my Morphine now?" "Of course not, you're fully healed, you don't need any more Morphine." "But I neeeed it man! Come on, just a little? Please?" "If you knew what was good for you, you would get yourself into some rehab." Said Integra as she walked in, "and don't you dare break a bone just to get more, or I'll give you a REAL reason to need Morphine." "The vampires get blood all the time, why can't I have Morphine?" "Because they will die again if they don't get it, whereas you will go into withdrawal for a couple of weeks if you don't get Morphine." "Fine...I'll do the rehab or whatever it is...hmph."

Later that night...

'I need that Morphine, I don't care what they say...stupid vampires.' Desmodeus was sneaking/stumbling through the compound, looking for some kind of medical storeroom. 'I don't see why I can't have it...I think clearer, it makes me immune to pain, and I feel good when I have it too. Losers. They can burn back home for all I care.' After some time, Desmodeus found what he was looking for. The room was empty, save for the medicines, and in the middle of the top shelf on the left wall, he found what he was looking for...syringes. He found the Morphine in a box in the corner. He took a few needles, filled them with the stuff, stuck them strategically in his chest, where his shirt would cover the scars, and basked in the sweet euphoric abuse of medical supplies...In basking however, he forgot to even remove the needles from his chest, and furthermore, he made a great deal of noise. It was only minutes later that he was found.


	5. Chapter 5: It can only get worse

Heck Hath No Fury

Chapter 5"It can only get worse"

A/N: Sorry I haven't updated for, well, let's be honest, a year or so. I had so much stuff going on back then that I sort of forgot the fic. But now I'm back, and ready to finish what I've started.

"spoken" 'thought'

"Where the hell is that fool?"

"Lady Integra, we have every available man searching for him right now, but until he's found, you've got to calm down."

"Just find the stupid bastard, before he gets himself into more trouble than I know he's already in!"

"Yes Ma'am."

It was the morning after Asmodeus had made his soon-to-be ill-fated excursion to the medical supply closet. When his quarters were found empty, Integra instigated a full scale search, fearing he'd done something exceedingly reckless. Her fears were well founded.

"Ma'am!"

"What is it? Did you find him?"

"Yes Ma'am, an aide just found him passed out in a medical cabinet. There were several syringes on the floor, and some opened bottles of Morphine."

"Just as I thought, that idiot snuck out and got high…Alright, take him to the brig and strap him to the bed. Make sure he doesn't escape."

"Yes Ma'am."

'What am I gonna do with that, thing. With the state he's in, there's no way he could be any good in a fight, at least not until we get him off that morphine. hmm'

Nothing else of great importance happened for the rest of the day. Night fell, and Lady Integra and Alucard spent the evening planning Hellsing's next move against this new trend of evil.

"If demons can be summoned from the depths of Hell, then why shouldn't we be able summon angels from heaven?"

"Because, Lady Integra, angels and demons are very different."

"What are you talking about, Alucard?"

"Well, my dear Integra, have you ever seen instructions, or even anything hinting at a process of summoning angels down to Earth?"

"No."

"Yet we can easily find texts depicting precise instructions on how to summon a demon. Is this not true?"

"It is. What are you getting at?"

"What I'm saying, is that angels don't come down here, yet demons are allowed up. Why is this allowed, why does it happen?"

"How am I supposed to know?"

"You probably aren't. I can only speculate, but if memory serves, is it not usually Satan and his demons that come directly to Earth to do evil themselves, whereas God works in mysterious ways."

"As far as history says, yes. What is your point?"

"Demons come directly to Earth, they do things themselves, but angels stay in heaven, passively watching and influencing without interfering. Maybe demons are the only ones able to come to Earth. Could it be that thousands of years of interfering with humans have made the way between here and hell a two-way street, and heaven is on a one-way lane going up?"

"Do you mean to say that people come and go from hell, but can only ascend to heaven?"

"Based on thousands of years of biblical history, I think the theory is sound."

"But why would this be allowed by God? If he's almighty, why doesn't he just make a way for angels to come down?"

"Maybe it isn't needed. If memory serves, Demons are angels that were condemned to hell. Maybe God let's them up in hopes they'll repent."

"It's possible, but…I don't know"

"Regardless, what shall be our next move, Lady Integra?"

"It's going to take weeks for Asmodeus to go through withdrawals and eventually drop his addiction, until then I can't trust him to fight. We'll have to just wait and see what this demon problem turns up."

A week passed. The demons were steadily on the rise, their numbers made ever more by the vampires summoning them. The load was becoming too much for Hellsing to handle, and Asmodeus, feeling the first effects of his withdrawal, was in no shape to fight. The screams day and night were proof enough of that.

"We'll just have to get another one, and not screw it up this time."

"Another what, milady?"

"Another demon. You and Seras can't handle this problem alone anymore."

"I see. You'd better let me handle the summoning then."

"And just Why is that, Alucard?"

"Because you are too pure, too much without sin, that may be what screwed it up earlier. You've never killed an innocent, never drank the blood of another. You've done very little against GOD, and that's all made up by the fact that you are leader of an organization of holy knights. I'm undead, I've killed hundreds mercilessly, I've done everything to deserve to be _Nosferatu_"

"Fine, do what you will, but don't screw it up this time!"

"Yes Ma'am."

A/N: Well everybody, I've finally updated. I'm sorry for the long delay, but I promise to make updates more regular from now on. Less than a year apart anyway.


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